Happy Birthday to me!

Yes, it's true. Today is my 3rd birthday! I guess that means I'm 21 years old in human years. Pass me a martini... I gotsa story to tell ya...

Last night my dad took me out for a walk and I got a little pebble stuck in my paw. Honestly, I didn't think such a itty bitty little thing could cause that much pain. My pops was on the phone yacking about who-knows-what and started freaking out because I was hobbling. I kept looking at him and saying "Check my paw! Check my paw!" Poor guy, he had no idea. He got so worried and was going to drag me back to the apartment so I caved and sat on my butt and licked my paw until that little rock went flying to the ground. Dad looked relieved but took me right back home. I hadn't even gone #2 yet... I knew it was going to be a problem later on.

Anyway, so my mum strolls in at 9:30pm, which is super late for a school night if you ask me. She was happy to see me, as she always is but she didn't listen to me. I kept telling her "I need to go out... dad, didn't let me finish!" but she thought I was just playing and kept trying to kiss me and rub my ears. Durrr, lady...

We hit the sack at the regular hour. I'm all snuggled and warm under mums blankie and I'm dreaming about birds on the beach and chasing them. In my dream I'm hooting and hollering after these suckers that always take off right before I can sink my teeth into them. Then I get a pain in my belly and I wake up. I realized it was my #2 knocking on the door. I tried to nudge either one of my parent awake but they just turned over. I got up to see what my options were. The kitchen was dark and the floor was cold, but that's where I eat! I can't have a crash landing in there... that's just gross. I know dad would be furious if my poop touched his beloved hardwood floors (I've heard him make people take their shoes off to walk on the floor. Crazy, I know!). So my only options are the bedroom where we sleep or the bathroom with that weird white sculpture in it. I opt for the bathroom because it can smell bad in there sometimes and they always turn on the light when they go in there.

So, I can't hold it any longer... I HAVE to go at this point. I run into the room, pop a squat and lay out a pile. My dad heard the riot I was making so he came running in. He woke mum up and the took me out for a walk but by then, the deed was done. Nothing left to release but I got in some good sniffing time. Sorry for the mess, mum and dad and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!