I'm not the type of dog that is easily wound up. I like to think of myself as a laid back, quiet kind of pup that just lets the water roll off his coat, but today I was insulted!!! It was raining (what else is freaking new?) and mum was taking me out for my morning walk. The elevator that we normally use was broken so we had to go out the main entrace of our apartment block. It's pouring and it sucks out. I'm getting wet and mum is trying to keep things upbeat by telling me "Good boy, Bugs!" everytime I lift my leg. We round the corner on Townsend Street and she notices that the loading dock with the smelly garbage and big elevator is open. She decides to take the short cut through there rather than making me suffer in the weather. She really is the best mum in the world.
Anyway, there's this big truck with men loading stuff on and off of it. While we're waiting for the elevator one man comes up and is speaking Spanish. Now, I'm half chihuahua so I could understand a few things here at there. They were just standard "Buenos dias! Como esta?" Mum was trying her best to carry on a light convo but it was pretty clear she was rusty. Anyway, while she's yapping to this fella I walk over to smell his shoes - What? It's the best way to tell where a person has been, honest! - Well, the guy notices I'm sniffing and bends over to pet me. I'm a little shy when strangers try to be nice. Luckily the elevator arrived and it was filled with stuff but we could all fit. So all of us headed in there. The same guy starts speaking Spanish to me because I'm still trying to smell where he's been "Awww, so cute!" he says. Then, he bends over and pets me on my sides with both hands and says.... "Ay, GORDITO!!"
Excuxe me? Pardon? Que? I had to shake my head to make sure I heard him right and he said it AGAIN. I heard you call me a little fatty the first time, Senor. Enough! By that time I realised mum was trying to drag me out of the elevator and she was chuckling at what the man had said. My feelings were hurt. Of course, right when we walk into the house she makes me breakfast. I felt like too much of a lardo to eat... well, I mean eat in front of her. I just plopped myself on my big pillow and pretended to sleep and after she left for work, I ate my breakfast.
Mark my words, people! My diet starts today. No more pupperonis for sitting when I'm told. No more nawing on bones out of boredom even though they taste so delicious. Liver treats? NO THANK YOU. I'll just walk to my water bowl and gulp it imagining I'm eating one of those chickens mum brings back. Goodbye Gordito!
12 years ago
